My Reflection: Loving In A Wrong Time
* DOUBLE RELEASE FOR THIS EASTER SUNDAY. I LOVE YOU ALL.*
Hello guys and gals. I want to share my reflection about my love. As expected, I hope you will gonna enjoy this blog. I don't want my introduction to be too long. Without further ado, let's do this.
Have you ever felt that you have loved a person in the wrong time? Where you loved each other in a not so good circumstances. I think that is what happened to us. Me and my moon. We loved each other, enjoyed each other, until she lost her love to me. I think we loved each other where both of us were problematic in our lives. Me, stressing myself in studies so I couldn't getting a 3 again and some household chores. While her, much worse. She has some problems that people shouldn't feel anymore even though it's inevitable. I will not gonna tell other things about that. We should respect their privacy. I know that it happened weeks ago but the wounds are getting larger and larger. My heart is still breaking. I know it's a pill that is hard to swallow but, I should need to fight. I want to prove to her that even if my heart is shattered, I will still fight and continue my life. But, to be honest, that is hard to do, especially that she still love you and she will hide her feelings. A feelings that is important for me. You know why? I don't want her feelings for me to go to waste. I have waited this for so long, I don't want to let it slip away. As of my writing, the show that is in TV is Alone/Together, a film that starred Liza Soberano and Enrique Gil, my favorite loveteam (ahh, I love them. #LizquenStan). I don't want her to felt what Tin (Liza Soberano) felt in a scene where Ralph (Enrique Gil) was awarded as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Men. When I saw that scene, my heart breaks. I don't want her to feel like that for me. I would like to be with her if I achieve something. But at the same time, I just want to stop this for a moment. I want to wait for her until it's time. The time where her heart and mind is in peace. I loved her in the time where she is thinking more important things than me. I wish that she loved me 2 or 3 years ago where I'm still a happy student at Tagaytay City or 2 to 3 years later where I don't know what will happen to me. I never regret loving her but, I regret the timing of it. If you don't want to cry in the first paragraph then proceed at the second one.
My message to you is first of all, Hi. How are you? I hope you are doing well. I wish that you are okay now. This is the only way that I can communicate to you. I also hope that you will not forget me. I wish that you still stalk me in Facebook and see my pictures of moon. That's all for you. Even one of my drawing, I do it for you. I wish you still appreciate and treasure all of my efforts. I still treasured the day that I have met you and your spoken word poetry is still on my Google Drive. Even if you don't won that, you are still the champion in my eye. I still I know that you don't want to talk to me anymore, but I wish you could. I think saying that you are losing your love to me is the bravest thing that you will do even if it looks like you are quitting (I heard Tin from Alone/Together saying it). But if you want to, you know all of my contacts other than my cellphone number. I miss our convos and video calls. Other than my mom reminding me to do my chores, you are the only girl that starts a video call with me. My heart will go on loving you, even if you don't love me anymore. I only wish that you are happy in your decision. I know that I can't correct everything that I have done to you but, I wish you will forgive me in everything because I do it to you. Even if I'm still heartbroken on you, I forgive you. Look, my parents are angry when I don't return things on their proper place (even if they don't do it sometimes), I wish you will do too. What I'm trying to say is if you want to close my chapter in your life, I hope that we have closure. Because anything that opened should be closed. If you still don't want to close our chapter, good. I'm still hoping and waiting for that time to arrive. I wish you see my regrets and sadness in this blog and I hope you still understand because even if it's hard to be honest, I understand everything that you have said and done. I hope you will gonna enjoy reading this. I still pray at you at night. I love you.
Whooo. What a journey it has been. As always, I hope you are enjoying my blogs. There will be great things ahead. I wish you are fine with your situation right now. Godbless you and family. Peace. Love. Before I end this blog, I want to share some lyrics for you. See you on the next one. Adios.
Shine down from the Heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over, you getting over me."
- Bellefire ("I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me" (originally by Exposé), 2004)
Your Sunshine,
Bry
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