Repetitive Lovelife

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     Happy 2021 and belated Merry Christmas. I hope that you are feeling hopeful (and feeling full because there are too many foods in the holidays) in this new year. This should be the start of something new. Today, I'm here to tell you what happened in my love life in 2020 (I think I have told you these stories). I wish you will enjoy this like you always do when reading my blogs.

    I think you found the title interesting right? I think just like Madden NFL video games in the past years (shoutout Softdrink TV and RyanMoody), my relationship with my crushes is repetitive, meaning it happened too many times (and I still have not learned from it). The setup is like this, I will talk to my crush, some chit chats and other stuff, and then after weeks, she will not talk to me again. And it happens to me I think 3 times right now. One when I was in Grade 10 and the other, just last year. I think all of them have some valuable reasons why they don't talk to me anymore. One is I think I'm weird and childish (yeah, I admit it), Two is they are busy, in school, in work, in video games (just like my homies), and in household chores. Lastly, I think it is awkward to talk with a different gender. In my case, my words are refined so I could not hurt my crush because I still don't know what they like to a guy. I feel so shy when I talk to my crushes, even if some of them are my friends. 

    My thoughts and reactions about this are I feel sad because I don't know if I hurt my crush or something other. Even if it is not showing, I am sad. Just like I have mentioned in the past blogs, I have no intentions to hurt a girl because I have a mother and my sister, and for me, If I hurt a girl, it feels like I hurt my mother and my sister. That is also the reason why I also say that my love life is ruining my life (based on a statement by my fave YouTuber SteveDangle). Because of my love life, I sometimes overthink, question, and being complacent to myself If I could really find my special someone in the next years If I can't tell and sometimes hurt a girl. But, because also of this, I feel I could face some challenges and rejections in my life because I'm used to it. 

    I wish you will enjoy this blog and I will wish you a prosperous new year for me and you.

    (I think, next week I will experiment if you will like a blog about my favorite NFL team, the Cleveland Browns)

Your Friend,

Ramueeeeeeel

(Plot twist: My Grade 10 crush sent me a friend request and replied to my PM {personal message} about greeting her Merry Christmas)

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