I've Messed It Up

    Uh.. oh.. I think I mess it up..

    Good day guys (even if its not a good week to me). Today, I will share to you my promisory note to her and did I still have hope with her. So let's get it started.

    It was the last Saturday of September. It's been days since the last time I talk to her in messenger. In the same time I was also having a conversation with my close friend. We talked about her and also our situation with our section right now. He is on with honors and me too, I am also in the with honors in my section. And then, I saw that she is active and then I say "Can we talk?" and then she say "Wait." And then I say that I really miss her and don't put another meaning of it. Until now, she didn't answer with my chats (I asked her if she is angry to me and she still didn't reply). I said this to my friend and he said that I am too straight to the point, I said that I am still not used to it and he said that I am used to interact with other people and I said this:

    "In the same gender. If it is with girls, it is not the same. I am too careful because I can't stop myself to say my things in my mind."

(And I am still dumb to not stop myself to say that to her).

    My feelings now is I am sad and I have anger to myself. In outside, I want to be tough and I don't want my family to know that I am sad but, the cracks and scars in my heart that healed is back. I always thinking and asking myself if she is angry to me. I also have guilt because I don't want my friend to be angry to me. I really messed up our friendship. But you know, I still has a milliliter of hope that I could redeem myself to her.

    I am sorry. I 'm not meant to do that to you. I don't want you to be angry. I really miss you.

Friends, can you help me?

Your guy,

Ramueeeeeeel